Saturday, September 03, 2005
i
was slping. i dream of she and me in a place that nv exist.a place where we can be together forever. my handphone ring. it was a msg from her. the first thing i saw was,"
dear can u lemme cool down a while. dun blame urself its not ur fault."
my mind went total blank. why? is there a problem between us? i ask what was the problem. she refuse 2 tell me. the third msg was,"can we brk awhile till my n lvl past? i dun wan so much things to fan and worry about. dun call me, just sae can or cant." as a man, i sae no. cos i noe hw important is she to. but? guess what. she sae why cant i understand her and just brk with her. do i have a choice nw? do i? i start to think that i am a burden to her. so much so that i hate myself. i asked if she wanna go home as she is outside and have no money to go home. she sae wan. but when i call her. she dun wan to hear. when i ask why. she sae she scared if she hear my voice she wont bear 2 leave me. but do i bear. i dun wan to brk or even end this relationship at all. but?? do i have a choice. i noe i cant coaxed my stead well. but why i not given a chance? do i reali need to go back to my past. so that u can c how i love u. when i meet u , den u sae u dun wan go home. joanne ask me to ton together. when we ton. i ask u 2 come over and pei me. u sae," wo shen mer dou bu xi wang zhi xi wang ni mei shi." realli ma?? i alread have a prob. my prob is how to make u come back 2 mi and tell mi ur prob. so i ask her to pei me take cab home. on the way i ask if i could hug her. as i hug her. i dun bear 2 let go. i have the feeling that tis is the last time i could hug her. m i thinking too much? but as i reach home. i could not get 2 slp. m i a coward? a coward that cant face the darkness in the lonely world. Girl, do u know u change my world compeletly? so much that i dunno how 2 live without u. u sae if during this time wen we break i have a crush on a gal juz go. how to?? i dunno. our song yan leh de wei dao. i know the taste. loneliness, scared, pain, hurt and waiting de bitteriness. i just wanna tell you no matter who try to stop us. i will go all the way just to hold your hand. how much i love u? i dunno. very hard to replace u in my heart. on the surface i may look ok. but do u know how much tears i dropped 4 u? do u realli want me to be back to the person in the past? u sae u cannot forget him yet. there is shadow of him in u. but i can slowly let u forget him. but why do we need 2 brk up? i dun wish 2 c u hurt. so i have no choice but to let you go. but the fact in my heart, i dun wish 2 let go. u sae u dun understand me. but why everything you do touches me deep in my heart. everything you do is what i want my stead 2 be. doesnt that mean understanding me?
missed you @ 6:30 AM
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